


my pulse has been rising

by nilyn (escherzo)



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Author Is Probably Going to Hell, Dirty Talk, Dirty Talk in Church, M/M, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-05-17
Updated: 2008-05-17
Packaged: 2017-11-18 15:37:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/562643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/escherzo/pseuds/nilyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>But it doesn’t matter, no one is going to hear them anyway. And it’s just talking. Right? They can’t get in trouble for just talking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	my pulse has been rising

“Does Mom look like she’s going to be done talking at some point this century?” Mikey asks, slumping down in the pew, feet against the back of the one in front of him. The crowd mills around the two of them, paying no attention to Gerard yawning, staring up at the ceiling, Mikey absently blowing spit-bubbles. 

“Seriously,” Mikey says, looking over at their mother, chatting with some woman neither of them recognizes. “Church ended an hour ago. I’m bored.” It happens every week, too, and they inevitably spend the time coming up with alternate secret careers of the priest or sleeping in the pews. Mikey wants to sleep, but he hasn’t been able to relax enough to do it. All he has to do is remember Gerard’s face as Gerard accidentally walked in on him jerking off that morning (when he was supposed to be getting ready) and his thoughts take a distinctly impure turn. And for fuck’s sake, he’s in church, he needs to get it off his mind already. But he can’t. He’s been trying to think of anything else the entire time during the service, but now—now Mass is over, anyway, so he can feel better about it if he should happen to get a little hard at the thought.

“For crying out loud.” Gerard picks his head back up and turns to look at Mikey. “You asked me that five minutes ago. Go to sleep or something.” He huffs out a sigh, running a hand self-consciously through his slicked-back hair. 

“Fuck off, I can’t.” 

“Some language for being in church.” Gerard hesitates only for a second before he adds, “Dick.” 

Mikey snorts. “Seriously, though. I’m dying of boredom.” He’s tempted to just go kill time jerking off in the bathroom, slouching down further and spreading his legs just a little more, staring speculatively at his dick, the way it’s tenting the fabric of his pants. Of course, it’s at that point that Gerard looks over at him, and Mikey can tell when he notices, the way his breathing stops entirely for just a second.

“For fuck’s sake, Mikey,” Gerard says, low and a little strangled. “We’re in church.” But he’s looking, it’s obvious that he’s looking, and Mikey sits up, moving closer. “You know,” he begins, watching Gerard’s expression (the same one he had that morning, shocked and flushed with a little undertone of want), “if I didn’t know better I would say you’re looking.”

“I am not.” 

“Yes, you are.”

Gerard doesn’t argue this time, and Mikey leans close, glancing around to make sure no one’s watching before he murmurs into Gerard’s ear, “If we weren’t in church it’d be a lot easier to not be bored.” His tone leaves no doubt as to what he’s meaning.

“Mikey.” It comes out a shocked whisper, Gerard’s eyes darting to Mikey, still close to him. But it doesn’t matter, no one is going to hear them anyway. And it’s just talking. Right? They can’t get in trouble for just talking. He takes a deep breath and says, “What would you do? If we weren’t.”

Mikey grins. “If we were in our room... probably your bed, I wouldn't want to get mine messy." He's still close enough to be murmuring into Gerard's ear, and Gerard shivers as Mikey says, "I'd kiss you first. Slow, so you could get used to it. And then a little harder, pressing you down onto the bed, you know?” 

Gerard’s eyes dart around like he’s expecting someone to be listening in, taking a deep, shaky breath. “Fuck, you weirdo,” he says, even though he’s not making any move to tell Mikey to stop. Doesn’t really want him to, even. Even if they are in church, and, well. Gerard resigned himself to hell the first time he on-purpose listened to Mikey jerking off.

“You like it,” Mikey informs him, grinning wider when Gerard flushes. “Anyway, once I had you pinned I’d start going for this. It doesn’t look right on you anyway.” His eyes flick downwards to Gerard’s shirt, a too-small button-down he always feels awkward in. “A couple buttons at a time. Just to drive you nuts.”

“Yeah?”

“I bet you’d squirm if I did. Practically beg me to just hurry up, since we’d be pressed together the whole time. You would, yeah?” He only has to look at Gerard to know the answer. “You’d beg. You’d go down on your knees and do it if I asked you to.” Gerard shudders. It’s true.

“What would you. You know. Want to do?” They’re both talking in whispers now, just in case, even though no one around could care less what secrets Mikey is telling Gerard.

“Are you going to freak out?” Gerard shakes his head and Mikey takes a deep breath, leans just that much closer until his lips are right up against Gerard’s ear. “If I said I wanted to fuck you?” And oh. Gerard has to fight with himself for a moment to remember how to breathe. He just nods, then, mouths an ‘okay.’ He’s definitely going for an all-new level of special hell now.

“We’re both pretty fucked up then,” Mikey whispers cheerily, pulling back just a little. “But I’d do it. I—yeah. Get your shirt first, so I could see you properly, just look for a while.”

“And, um.” It’s awkward enough when he’s just listening, but Gerard feels like he has to say something. “Until you made me beg for it again?” Mikey nods, and Gerard shudders again. 

“Well, yeah. And then I’d get your pants, too. Just unzip and get them off before I go nuts.” Mikey’s breath is shakier, unsteady as he tries to keep his reactions controlled. “And then press down and it’d just be you in your underwear. I’d. I’d need to get rid of that too, and—fuck, Gerard, if Mom comes over and interrupts I’m gonna die.” He glances over again, but it’s still safe. Thank God. “So. Yeah. And then you’d be naked up against me and all I’d know is that I’d want to just. Fuck you—“ and the rest comes out in a rush, embarrassed. “untilIcouldn’tseestraight.” 

He has to speak faster now, just in case either of their parents should walk over in the meantime, and every time he looks around, darting glances, he feels a stab of nervousness at the thought. They could play it off as just telling secrets, yeah, but he’s not keen on getting interrupted before he gets out what he wants to say.

“I’d slick up my fingers really quick so we wouldn’t have to wait, except I’d have to go slow when I slid the first one in, because I haven’t. I’ve never done it to someone else. But it wouldn’t matter, because you would help me and god, you’d be fucking tight, even with just the first one. Even with just that, before I’d done anything really.” Gerard’s breathing is growing erratic too, shaky in-out and he swallows hard, almost convulsively, fixing Mikey a look like he needs to keep going. Keep talking. Or he doesn’t know what he’s going to do. It doesn’t even matter that they’re not alone, that they have to keep their voices down or someone could overhear. 

“And.” Mikey can’t find the words for a moment, mouth dry. “And I’d give you another one, because the first one wouldn’t be enough. I’d make you tell me if you wanted me to keep going or not. But you would, and so I’d listen and you’d just take them, like you’ve done it about a million times even though I know you haven’t and um. And then you’d. You’d let me do it? For real?” His eyes dart back up to Gerard, questioning. 

Gerard hesitates, thinking. Finally, he offers, “I think so—Yeah.” He can’t say for sure, not when it’s still all hypothetical and the only touch he’s getting is Mikey’s lips brushing against his ear, soft and hot. He hopes that’s enough. 

“God,” Mikey murmurs, so very inappropriate considering where they are, and he can’t even bring himself to care. “Okay, so then. I’d get myself ready then, as fast as I could because you’d be just. Empty, without anything in you and you’d want me to hurry up. I’d make you ask for it. And you’d do it, because you’d want it that badly, even though I’m your baby brother and it’s supposed to be wrong.” It is wrong, it’s beyond wrong, everything that Mikey is saying and that Gerard is agreeing to. At least they’re going to Confession next week. 

“Keep going?” It’s barely a whisper from Gerard’s mouth, lips parted.

“I’d fuck you,” Mikey says, low, looking Gerard in the eye. He doesn’t hesitate. “Hard, and I’d probably leave bruises on your hips from my fingers but I wouldn’t care and you probably wouldn’t either, I’d just let myself go, and take you.”

Gerard hisses out a breath through his teeth. “Mi—“

“Gerard! Mikey! We’re going, wake up!” Their mother’s voice echoes across the church, almost entirely emptied out while they were… occupied, and the two of them freeze. “Look innocent,” Mikey whispers, and stands up, grabbing his coat and holding it low to cover himself. Gerard does the same, and they try not to look at each other too much as they leave, or on the drive home. 

After what seems like forever, they make it into their bedroom, and then—“So,” Mikey asks, settling down on the bed. “Where did I leave off?”

“You were.” Gerard goes a bit red. “Fucking me.”

Mikey grins.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Bandom Talks Dirty meme but got out of control somehow. I blame the Catholic upbringing. Also the going to Hell thing. Not real, don't Google yourself.


End file.
